Sent to us by Rob A.   Thanks








Save the trees ... Wipe your butt with an owl.

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window

Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, the bitch fell 

If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, on a 

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"

Don't be sexist - broads hate that!

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.

Feel safe tonight ... Sleep with a cop.

GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.

If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the 

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Boldly going nowhere

Cat: The other white meat

CAUTION - Driver legally blonde

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. 

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made. 

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! 

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 

Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later. 

I'm just driving this way to piss you off. 

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. 

I don't have to be dead to donate my organ. 

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling 
like the passengers in his car. 

God must love stupid people, he made so many. 

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. 

I took an IQ test and the results were negative. 

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. 

Give me ambiguity or give me something else. 

I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself. 

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. 

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. 

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. 

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 

I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?